Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Customers Are Impatient Assholes

I'd like to introduce a new way of measuring how my day working at Walmart went: the Quit-O-Meter Scale.  This scale ranks 0-10 and measures how annoying my day was.  Yesterday was about an 8 on the Quit-O-Meter scale.

Firstly, it was so busy and instead of giving my break after two straight hours I had to wait until my third hour to get a measly fifteen minute break.  While I'm thankful that I get a break at all, just think about how monotonous, boring, and irritating it is to stand in one place for over two hours during an endless stream of transactions.  My mouth was as dry as a cotton ball and I couldn't even leave to get a sip from the drinking fountain. 

Then, I get a young couple in line who places their condoms and lube front and center on their frozen pizzas.  They were practically jumping off the pizzas to high five me, they were that obvious.  And, it didn't help that their KY warming liquid lube was slightly leaking and I got it on my hand before I could throw the offending materials in the bag.  That was not very pleasant.  Oh well, I wiped my hand off on their groceries as I bagged them so whatever... But really, who places items like that in the cashier's face?!  Not that it's something to be ashamed about or whatever, but for fucks sake be discreet!  I really don't need to know that right after you get home and scarf down your frozen pizzas that you're going to be doing it.  Don't care.

I've now decided that while I'm waiting for the customer's transaction to go through and while the receipt prints, I am not going to even glance at the next person in line.  Why, you ask?  Because no matter what, if I look toward the next customer they are already ready and waiting to announce instructions to me even before the previous customer has left.  It's like they are so eager for their turn they cannot wait to order me around.  The receipt hasn't even come out yet and they are holding an item towards me to scan it or giving me special instructions on bagging.  A lot of times I don't even get to greet the customer before they are telling me what to do.    

People are such impatient assholes (and why do people fucking care about how things are bagged?!  As long as like items are together, nothing is smooched or cross-contaminated, who the hell cares?!).  What?  You don't want your chicken and your nail polish remover bagged together?  Oh... I thought they went together.  Silly me. 

But that's how people treat me.  I'm just some faceless person they can order around because they've allowed me to touch their precious items (speaking of... I've noticed that once the shit hits the cart, regardless of whether they've paid or not the customer already thinks of those items as theirs and therefore sacred).  I can't even greet them like one courteous human being to the other because they're all impatient to get out of the store.

Speaking of courtesy, please stop slapping the cash and change on the counter instead of handing it to me!  It's fucking rude to throw it on the counter so I have to scramble to pick up the money like a beggar would in the streets.  I don't throw your money down when I hand you your change so why would you do that to me?  Or what I used to get a lot at my last cashiering job was that I'd be bagging their groceries as I scanned them and before I could even plop the bag down and announce their total, they were already shoving the money in my face.  In. My. Face.  What the fuck happened to manners or decency?  People who do that deserve a roundhouse kick to the face. 

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