Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Preaching at the Register

I was supposed to work from 1-10 yesterday but due to insanely annoying weather conditions (snow, sleet, rain) it took longer than usual for everyone to get to work. I was late but once I arrived, all of the customer service managers thanked me for braving the elements since so many people had called off. And last night was one of those nights I was okay working. It was a weird day (because of the weather) and I like working weird days because my customers are usually in a better mood when there's something happening and something to talk about. I was just thrilled I didn't have to take the bus to work in all that snow and muck... especially since on the bus the day before I lost my glove somehow as I stepped onto the bus and didn't want to replace it with the suspicious latex glove that I ended up sitting next to.

Since becoming married and having to give up my car so my husband can use it, I have now had to become familiar with the public transportation system. This has been frustrating for me because I have to 1) scrounge change together for my $3 fare 2) depend on the bus to actually show up and as I've seen in the past, it might not and 3) share a vehicle with the strangest people of society. I no longer have the freedom to just get in my car and go where I want to and when I want to. But, it gets me to my job which I guess is good, right?.... right?

Of course one of my first customers had a grabby kid who grabbed the credit card machine AND RIPPED IT OFF THE STAND! The mother didn't look concerned at all and just said in a calm voice to him, "Oh, look what you did... you broke it" as I fumbled and tried to figure out what the fuck kinda voodoo this kid had just performed to rip the thing off in two seconds. Of course the stupid kid's only emotionally available response was "Uh oh!" The mother pissed me off more than the kid did. She didn't even apologize that her spawn had just possibly broken something expensive and was now clogging my line.

Upon opening up one of my registers the other day I found something that probably most likely no cashier wants to end up with which is why it was sitting idly at my register:

Some might argue that there is never a bad time to spread the word and all that, but I have to disagree (especially since it's from a Mormon). I don't want to listen to anything you preach to me at work, even if it's just handing me a card. I've had this happen on many occasions and it always freaks me out when I hand someone change and they give me something back. I also don't want to listen to you preach to me as ring up something like your Immodium AD (because then I'll just be thinking, "Ok, dude, you better hurry up and spit this out before you have to visit the shitter again.")

On the subject of religion at work, I have made an observation that, because I've seen it in Arizona and now Virginia, I have now applied it to the entire group. It seems that just about all middle aged to older aged Mennonite women are rude. I don't know what it is... is it the oppression, the silly hats, they're jealous I can have my hair down and don't have to wear unflattering boxy dresses, or the self-righteousness? I'm not exactly sure but it has been a rare occasion that I have seen one smile and if I do, it's never at me. I have noticed that they kind of treat me with civility because they [have] to come into contact with me since I'm the gateway to leave the store. But, I can't help but imagine that every time they are out they are looking at everyone and assuring themselves that we're all damned.

So please, don't damn your cashier. That would make for an awkward transaction.

Speaking of awkward transactions, there have been a few weird moments for me this holiday season as I have checked out the many parents who are purchasing toys for their kids. I have noticed that there are increasingly more parents just buying Santa's toys in front of the kids. I'm not talking babies either. These kids are well over three and up. Where's the surprise and the mystery of Christmas? I mean, I was always so amazed on Christmas morning at how my presents got there and when I saw Santa had eaten the cookies (I always looked around and thought to myself, "Oh wow! Santa was standing RIGHT HERE!"). But I've noticed a trend that more and more people are just buying it with the kids. To me, that's weird and totally not as fun.

And when I've been checking out those parents with those bulky and weird-shaped toy boxes, I must say the weirdest moments happen when I take out the big Walmart bag. Those animatronic pets you can get now that are motion sensor and meow and move as you bring the UPC across the scanner are really weird to bag. It's something about putting a moving, meowing animal into a bag that just feels wrong to me. There was also a time where I was stuffing Minnie Mouse into a bag as a child with a quivering lip watched that made me feel like I was black-bagging Minnie, and she would be never heard from again. And just last night I bagged a large baby doll which also made me feel uncomfortable.

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