Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A Pregnant Pause

Every time I go on my Facebook page, it is a barrage of posts about my various "friends" pregnancies. There are so many people my age procreating that is is ridiculous. Even the other day I received an email from the lame/mainstream wedding website theknot.com which was sent to me because it's already been six months since my wedding and they were just making me aware of their sister pregnancy websites. No thanks. I am bombarded with enough pregnancies and stupid children at work and on my Facebook page that I do not need to see any websites about either.

Facebook is both good and bad. Because of it, I am now more aware of how idiotic the people I know are. I have a front-row seat in their ridiculous lives (which is not so bad because I am super nosy). But, there is a point at which I don't care about your life. When you one day announce on Facebook to the world and your friends that you are pregnant, it is at that time I both send a generic "Congratulations" and then groan because I know for the next nine months I'm going to be hearing about your swollen ankles, morning sickness (which makes me picture you hurling in a toilet), and hemorrhoids. I'm also going to now be pestered with pictures of your naked, growing, stretch-marked belly when I go on my news feed. Then, you're going to make that growing belly your profile picture... or your ultrasound picture which makes it look like you are growing a crawfish/alien thing inside of you. I don't need to see your growing fetus on my news feed. It is possible to just make a album with the pictures related to your pregnancy and not post it on the updates. Or you could just make it so only your family or close friends (who care about the tot you're going to squeeze out) can see.

Then there's the pregnant women who come through my line at work. When I see a pregnant woman with two or three more ill-behaved children frolicking around and in the cart I immediately want to say to them, "Oh, you think the first few came out so well you want to have another, huh?"

Which leads me to Carlin on the topic of child worship. Child worship is very real and it starts with the fucking pregnancy worship I see everyday on my Facebook page (right now I can think of five people I know who either just gave birth or are pregnant out of my 60 or so friends).

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