Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Hardest Part

I was still sick yesterday and living off of Halls in attempt to numb my throat. Oddly enough, this morning I have awoken feeling as if my sore throat never happened. I'm glad because I think I was starting to freak people out. I noticed that some of them would be loading the belt with their groceries, I'd say, "Hello" (I forgot the "How are you?" WAY too painful) and they'd look from their cart quickly as if thinking, "UH What was that horrible noise?!" or "Did that come from the girl I saw behind the register?!" Why yes, yes it did. One customer asked me where I was from as if my horribly scratchy throaty-sounding voice was an accent. "Oh! I thought you were Southern. Southern people are so nice." What...??

Much to my displeasure, last night was not only full of sore throat pain but a brand of customers called Overzealous Baggers. For some reason, I saw a large abundance of these people yesterday. Taken in small doses, I can handle the Overzealous Baggers. But yesterday... it was all I could do to not snap at them (one person I did, she was a foreign old lady and she probably had no idea what I was saying).

You'd think that the store was on fire by the speed at which they are attempting to remove their bags from the bagging carousel. Many times, they swing the carousel (which is MY turf, back the fuck off! I move the thing, you pick up bags. Easy as that.) before I even have the opportunity to put everything in the bag that I was going to. So, that perfectly arranged set up of the Club cracker box, Ritz box, and five Mac & Cheese is now ruined thanks to your overzealousness.

Usually my only pleasure I get from my job is packing things in a perfectly arranged manner. I like to arrange the items according to size, type, and package type (like bag, pouch, box, etc.). For some reason, there are times (not often) when I actually enjoy bagging... like a giant puzzle. And when it's on the carousel, it looks perfect. The boxes fit nicely, the chip bags and bread are nestled together and the bags of cans are sitting there ready to be put down into the cart first. And then... the customer fucks it up by putting the chips in first, cans on top or sitting in the cart so they're all tumbled over. They usually just throw the shit in the cart when they're shopping and they do the same when they are done checking out. Then they wonder why their bread looks like someone's old couch cushion.

But there were quite a few times yesterday when a customer nearly hit my forearm as I was bagging by trying to move the carousel. Or worse, I have just scanned something and am about to put it in the awaiting, open bag. It is at this moment the moronic customer decides to move the carousel which prevents me from bagging. Such is the nature of the Overzealous Bagger! When I want you to grab the shit, I will move it towards you. How hard is that to understand?!

The old foreign lady also committed another customer faux pas yesterday. She was with a younger woman (also foreign and speaking some weirdo language I have never even heard) who brought up two carts bulging with stuff.

"Stop when I get to $150," she said and I began to ring up her things. I figured, as will happen lots of times, that she wanted to use the rest of her food stamp money and then pay the rest with her cash or card. Of course she didn't have all over her items on the belt when I reached $150. While the older lady is paying the younger one looks to me and wheels the cart around toward me, "We're not getting this," she said.

"Really??" I asked and instead of holding my easygoing cashier-face I allowed myself to look exasperated and annoyed. Which, I was. She said they were sorry which was a big fucking lie. If you were really sorry you wouldn't have left the poor people at customer service to resort your shit when you should've known it TWO carts would be more than $150, fucktard. Just another example of idiots underestimating the cost of things. Why not bring a calculator?

I try to be a nice and courteous cashier. But then I realize that most of my customers are assholes so being nice and courteous is probably the hardest part of my job.

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