Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Marshmallows and Panic Attacks

Yesterday's Quit-O-Meter: 8.5

The other day I had a huge line and in it were two different families which had two girls the same age.  The one nerdier little girl decided to copy the other one (a pretty, blonde girl) by picking up one of those stupid toy cellphones by the registers.  They both proceeded to "talk" on the phone while I rang up their parent's orders.  The blonde girl began saying things in a stern tone like, "Stop calling, Tinkerbell.  I don't have flower power," and she'd hang up and reopen it to say other nonsense.  The nerdy little girl began to copy her but more aggressively screamed the above phrase into her phone.  Over and over and over and over.  Her father didn't but once tell her to be quiet but, she didn't really listen to him because she probably couldn't hear him above her own ridiculous screams.  Now, I am not immune to child cuteness but when she said that shit for the fiftieth time at decibels that could kill ear cells, I got a little pissed.  When her father handed me the stupid toy phone I wanted to snap it in front of her and watch her eyes tear up.  I guess people are so used to their children being fucking annoying as hell, they don't know what is past the tolerance level of normal society. 

And on the opposite end of the spectrum but, is it me or do some people seem to have kids just to have something to yell at?  

I had to fight so hard yesterday to not tell a customer what an idiot she was.  She said in front of me that the customer service associates should "know their store a little better" because they incorrectly told her the marshmallows were in the baking aisle.  They are.  I told her this and she said she looked forever and couldn't find it. Then, I had the mental image of a bag of marshmallows hitting her face and her saying, "Where are they?"  Which is probably what could happen and she would still be lost.  But, besides that... do people expect associates to memorize every fucking nook and cranny of a HUGE Supercenter?!  Think of how dumb that sounds.  That's why we have people who specialize in that area.  Don't expect me to know all about digital cameras just because I work in a store that has them.  Your office building has an accounting department... does that mean you know all that goes on there?  No?  Well, now you see where that logic leads us.  Asshole. 

The first thing that infuriates me upon getting to work (when I get to drive the car) is our Walmart parking lot.  We've taken all the dumbasses from inside the store, who bang their carts into things, drop shit and create havoc, and put them into cars.  It creates an aggravating, shitty, and dangerous scenario.  People drive so damn slowly and in ways that cause traffic to back up clear to our traffic light.  It's ultimately the morons who planned the shopping center's fault because they made it very idiotic.  

I now have physical proof that my annoying job is getting to me.  On Friday, I had a mild panic attack.  My heart raced, my chest hurt, I broke out in a sweat and my hands trembled.  I felt out of control of my own body and I just wanted to go hide in a bathroom stall until my heart rate returned to normal.  Maybe I can't be a cashier for too much longer because my mild panic attacks will turn into serious panic attacks which could result in agoraphobia!  Looking up medical things online tends to freak you out.  I doubt I'll ever develop that far (as long as I get the hell out of Walmart pretty soon) but, I definitely need to find ways to calm down.  All this pent up rage at customers is causing me harm when I really could be feeling fine if I took it out on them.  Maybe I need a punching bag with the faces of random customers on it... the Old Lady, the Price Watcher, the Bag Opener, the Re-Bagger... etc. 

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