Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Random Thoughts

Yesterday's Quit-O-Meter: 7.5

Going in today from 11:30- 8 so I'll leave you with some random thoughts for today: 

"You're such a nice, patient cashier," I hear a lot, especially from old ladies who require a lot of patience.  If they only knew what I was thinking inside my head, they would not bestow such a compliment upon me.  But, I guess that's good though because I've finally mastered hiding my irritation at most customers.  There are some customers that I don't even bother to because I want them to see how annoyed I am.  I want them to know they are annoying.

If you really aggravate me, I will not wish you a nice day/night.  For some reason I feel that is some sort of ZING!  You will just get a cold "thank you" followed by your receipt and I mentally kick you in the ass. 

I know I should be happy to have a job and blah blah blah.  "Great... I have a job, but it's at Walmart!" is like "Great... my insurance covers a colon exam."  Either way, you're screwed. 

There's a lady at work that I mentally call Fish Eyes.  She's got creepy, unpredictable eyes that are far apart on her head and almost on the sides of her face... like a fish. 

Bag Openers are annoying.  Sure, I appreciate the gesture of you taking time to open new bags for me.  But, it takes TOO much time.  Here I am trying to turn the carousel and you're chasing after it to open the bag.  Then, you usually say something stupid like, "Heh, I'll leave that to the professional!"  Screw you because that's just damn insulting.  And I come back with something like, "Wow, that's sad if I'm a professional bag opener." 

Buying condoms for your son is just weird.  I'm sure he appreciates the gesture but when I've got a forty year old woman and a barely legal-looking male... I'm going to think you're a cougar until you mention him being your son.  I don't know, it's also pretty emasculating that your MOM has to buy your condoms.  Be a man and pay for them yourself!! 

I learned that one of the overnight cashiers has a twin sister and it kind of freaked me out at first.  I wish her twin worked there instead of her because she's really bitchy.  She has one of those faces that look like she's forever smelling something foul and you would never want to approach her.  Oddly enough, her twin doesn't have that look on her face.  Maybe it's because she doesn't work at Walmart? 

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