Super Bowl Sunday is one of the days throughout the year that I dread in the retail business. Just like Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, on and before Super Bowl Sunday the lines will be long, carts will be bulging, and customers will be grumpy. But unlike those other two holidays, Super Bowl Sunday is a culmination of all things I don't like:
1.) Fat, testosterone-fueled men wearing sail-like jerseys and/or body paint. Lovely combo.
3.) The truly American pastime, eating.
4.) Overly-hyped commercials
Over the past eight years of my working life, I have worked eight Super Bowl Sundays. They suck ass.
My first job, Little Caesars, was a nightmare on SBS. There were so many different and large orders that it was difficult to keep up (and everyone except a handful of people who worked there were pretty much useless, slow, and dumb). We ran out of wings which caused the jiggly masses to become irate, it was just an ugly day.
Customers are especially unpredictable on SBS:
-The guy whose team is losing and he had to make a beer run and is either grumpy about the line being so long so he's especially pleasant to you once he gets to the register or wants to bitch at you about how terrible his team is doing when you really don't give a shit. Usually I barely know who's even in the Super Bowl so I nod and act like I care.
-The guy whose team is winning and he had to make a beer run and is dancing with impatience in the line like he's got to urinate and it's as if his life depends on racing back to his television. He's also known to answer "How are you?" by saying something like, "Great, my team is winning so I couldn't be better!" [initiate stupid grin]
-The wife who couldn't care less about the Super Bowl and she is taking her sweet time getting back to her house because she doesn't want to be there with all the screaming, jelly-filled beer drinkers. This customer pisses off the previous types of SBS customers because she is so slow and interfering with game time.
At my last job I was responsible for the store on Sundays and among those responsibilities I had to refill the freezer that held the bags of ice. On a normal Sunday I had to fill it once, twice if it was Summertime and really hot out. I couldn't get anything done that SBS because I was pretty much constantly filling that freezer up. By the end of the day I was worn out from stacking probably hundreds of ten pound bags of ice.
Did anyone else think of IBS when I started abbreviating Super Bowl Sunday?