On the one day I was supposed to work in this long stretch of time off, I called out sick. I was even dressed and head out of the door when my throat tightened, my heart raced, and my chest began to hurt. Another mild panic attack. When I called off I unfortunately had to talk to the Overly Enthusiastic Manager and she genuinely wished me 'get well' and I felt bad for about two milliseconds. After hanging up the phone and taking a deep breath, I realized that I would not have to step behind a register for almost a week.
There are few times in life where I feel more relieved than I do when I clock out and race out of Walmart and hit the parking lot. While my life feels dull, dismal, and completely Edgar Allen Poe-esque while I'm working, the clouds lift and my soul (what soul I have left that hasn't been raped and pillaged by Walmart) is uplifted once I step outside.
This may be the overly dramatic, writer-creative person-artistic side of me but... I feel so fucking stifled by that workplace. Everyday my nerves take a severe beating and each day I wonder when I will finally fucking snap. Of course I don't mean snap as in a violent sense, more like throw my hands up and scream, "Fuck this job and fuck you!" as I point my finger in the face of the offending customer. I hope it's an old snooty lady. Or some high and mighty soccer mom with those fucking pieces of shit reusable bags (that they're going to stuff in their enormous UNenvironmentally friendly SUV).
I just thought of something interesting. I have more problems with female customers than male customers. I can only think of a couple times in which a male customer has really caused me problems or has been annoying (stupid, yes but all customers are stupid). Female customers seem to be the worst. And I'm not saying I'm anti-female but, they are the pickiest of all the customers whether it's price, bagging preference, or annoying requests.
What does this mean exactly? I'm not sure. Is it because women, are more prevalent grocery shoppers and therefore I'm more in contact with women and as a result they cause more annoying instances? Is it because I'm sick of bagging douches? Is it because women are more annoying and picky?
I think it's a combination of those things. All my life I have held most females at arms length because of many instances in which I have been badly burned or backstabbed. Usually it's because a lot of girls (with the exception of a few) have generally annoyed me. It could have been their mannerisms, conversational subject matter, or the way they treated others. A lot of the time it's because I have regarded them as being weak. I cannot stand weak and overly feminine women who adhere strongly to gender roles. On the opposite end of the spectrum I cannot stand men who hold fast to gender stereotypes either.