Just a lowly cashier complaining about the unknowing irritation you cause by everyday purchasing transactions.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Rewards For Being Morons

Well, the book has stalled for now.  Sometimes it's hard for me to stay focused because I'm the queen of the "there's always tomorrow" excuse.  I've got to get it through my thick head that that's not necessarily true and I should take advantage of all this time alone at home to write!

To all the men who call women "sweetie," "baby," or "sweetheart": STOP IT!  Whether you realize it or not, it's condescending and rude.  I am not any of those things to you and it makes me feel like a "little woman" when you say these things to me.  It's usually the old, ugly fucks who say this to me from the other side of the register.  I guess there are worse things to be called but I don't appreciate being called a "sweet" name.  It makes me feel insecure, stupid, and incompetent.  And when you accompany any of the above names with a wink, it makes me want to knock you upside the head with my debit machine.  

Things I Don't Miss:

-People who would bring up a handful of items and say, "I guess you know what I'm having for dinner!"  For one, I don't care.  Two, I usually don't really pay much attention to the shit that I would scan.  Three, NO I can't tell what the fuck you're having for dinner because I fail to see how bread, a can of anchovies and milk constitutes a dinner.  
-When I would announce the total while still continuing to bag groceries, there was always that rude moron who would shove their bills under my nose so that I'd take them immediately. It was so annoying and inconsiderate that I wanted to take their $50 and shred it in front of them and blow the pieces in their face. 
-Donut theives.  When I worked at my convenient/grocery store job we had a large donut case.  People would graze past there as they entered the store, fill up a bag or box and eat throughout the store.  They liked to lie about the number of donuts too so I always had to pay attention to if they were eating their donuts or not and I'd always have to open the box to see if they were lying.  A lot of the time they were.  Why would you bother stealing a fucking .65 donut when you're paying about $25 for the rest of your groceries anyway?!
-When I was a cashier/Sunday morning manager at my last job I'd have to deal with product returns.  It was usually people complaining about bad meat (which didn't happen very often but once it did they'd say "UGH this is the [exaggerated amount]th time I've gotten bad meat from here!").  I distinctly remember one customer who brought me a just a shopping bag of sausage.  It smelled terrible like she'd left it on the counter all night.  She had no meat wrapper and no receipt.  It took all my energy not to scream at her, "What the fuck do you want me to do with this?!"  Seriously though... what is the mental processes that are going on in people's heads? (Are there any...?)

Speaking of "bad" food, when I worked at my last job I dreaded the Summer time.  Not because it was so deathly hot outside when I took out the trash that I'd be covered in sweat by the time I got back from the dumpster.  Not because there were intervals in which business was mind-numbingly slow.  Not because I hated working weekends and seeing everyone come in for the cookout and pool party supplies.  But,  every Summer we had a wave of morons that would come into the store and complain that our dairy products or meat had spoiled.  What these fuckwads failed to mention was that the above items had spoiled because they had left them in their 124+ degree car after they bought them.  Is your car a fucking fridge?  Of course it spoiled, genius!  Even though my boss highly suspected they'd abandoned their groceries in their hot car, he always gave their money back.  I hate when people are rewarded for being complete idiots. 

No comments:

Post a Comment